Clive Driscoll Clubs The Weakened Prey.

podcast According to Royalty

Clive Driscoll Clubs The Weakened Prey.
  • Language: eng
  • Published: 27 Mar 2009
  • Duration: n/a

SNAKE writes... AFTER BITING REAL WORLD BROOKLYN, I WAITED FOR THE VENOM TO SPREAD THROUGH THE CAST. WHILE I STARED AND TAUNTED MY PREY I SAW THAT PEOPLE WERE WATCHING THIS ATTACK. CLIVE DRISCOLL WAS ESPECIALLY ENTHUSED. IN FACT HE BEGAN CLUBBING THE WEAKENED VICTIM WITH HIS FAKE ARM... CLIVE writes...First of all, I just want to say that it is about time someone came out and bashed this season’s Real World. Well done, Snake. Another successful bite. Having said that, this season should not just be snake bit but castrated (wait, Katelyn already was). Being selected to be on the Real World is like getting the Golden Ticket of reality t.v. The producers, Bunim and Murray, one of whom is dead, so let me change that to Bunim or Murray, the one producer that is alive, is your Willy Wonka. Every year thousands upon thousands of fame-seeking nutcases send in their audition tapes, or to keep the analogy going, buy bars of chocolate. The tapes then get filtered down by the casting directors (who should be fired for this season a la Donald Trump to Andrew Dice Clay) who can alter any normal person’s life into a life of Gauntlet/Duel appearances, bar tours, and constant mockery on E!'s The Soup. As Snake mentioned, these fucking moron casting directors selected not one but two people from Salt Lake City, Utah. As far as I know there are two things good about Salt Lake City, Utah, one is Karl "The Mailman" Malone, () and.... nothing else. Also, correct me if I am wrong, doesn't the Real World consist of 7 cast members. 21 seasons of 7 cast members and this group of shmohawks (courtesy of Larry David) decide to cast 8. The final decision in putting the worst cast together in RW history must have been so hard that they decided they had to include the transgender AND the boring guy with great abs. Yet, here we are today, approaching the final episode of the worst season ever, or as I call it, my own personal glass elevator that will set me free of this nonsense world. I'VE GOT A GOLDEN TICKET, I'VE GOT A GOLDEN TWINKLE IN MY EYE: Picture each cast member’s initial reaction to getting the call (finding their ticket) to be chosen for the Real World… Chet: So excited that he almost touched a boobie for the first time. Instead he wrapped his purple scarf around his neck and started masturbating furiously to pre-taped episodes of Carson Daily hosting TRL. Ryan: Tried to return the engagement ring he bought his girlfriend, but found out it was non-refundable. Afterwards, he googled Pranks and started shining his shoes. Carl: (Wait, who is Carl? Carl is Katelynn’s birth name.) Carl found out and wanted to really flip the script on the nation. Carl booked a plane to Thailand, bought a pair of booty shorts and went to a back-alley abortion clinic and said, "Make this work." Scott: After finding out, Scott not pleased enough with his abs, spent 248 hours in the gym working out. Only stopping to check himself out in the mirror and to spot his workout buddy who happens to be into guys. Sarah: Bitches and complains she got chosen because that is all she knows how to do. Feeling her sleeve of tattoos was not enough to make her stand out, she decides that back when she was 10 she shouldn’t have shared a sleeping bag with her father. He is now an estranged sexual molester and she the whiny-cunt of a victim. Devyn: Wipes the cum of three casting directors off her face. She is so thrilled that she is chosen, she offers them the opportunity to tittyfuck her as well. Disgusted by her nipple-to-boobie ratio, they decline and ask her to leave. J.D.: Has no family and no friends, he has no boyfriend because he is not gay, he is fucking faggot. JD celebrated by fucking the blowhole of his favorite dolphin, Fudgie. Not satisfied by Fudgie, JD then paid a homeless man 20 bucks to provide that particular golden twinkle in his eye. Baya: Is so excited she has bee chosen and given a chance to escape her hometown of Salt Lake City. That night celebrating with her hippie